(It’s 2021 and America is experiencing its first female president Courtney Thomas. Tina, her rebellious daughter leads a group that opposes everything her mother stands for called The Resistance.)

Tina

Things are so much easier when you know the truth because once you know the truth everything else just drops like rain. And I said drop because i don’t like saying the F word. I say Autumn instead. You say it. Only stipulation in knowing the truth is that you may have to do alot by yourself afterwards. So the truth may not be for you. But on another note, (1) you can’t kidnap me because I’m not a kid. And (2) you’re not THAT hungry. And (3) you should be worried about all of those militias being formed all across America instead of me. But to each its own I suppose. What in the world do you think all of those guns are being bought for? But any who, you should calm down and smoke a joint or something.

(Amazed by what Tina just said he lifts up his mask and reveals his face)

Kidnapper 1

I’ll tell you what. How about I go out to the car and get two jars of the best sativa you’ll ever smoke in your life, straight from ******* Amsterdam. What do you say?

Tina

Sure I don’t see anything wrong with that. But will your partner mind? Or will she still want to carry out your original plan of kidnapping me?

(Lifts up her mask and reveals her face)

Kidnapper 2

How in the heck did you know I was a female? I didn’t even  talk.

Tina

Well I guess you forgot to tape your boobs down. I could see those things a mile away. And I have those same exact Pradas you’re wearing but in a 6.

Kidnapper 1

This chick is bad ass. I’ll be back just have to run to the car. Keep an eye on her.

Kidnapper 2

Sure thing. Baby sitting is easy.

(As soon as he leaves Tina kicks the 2nd Kidnapper in her face knocking her out unconscious and escapes through the back door. She gets 3 blocks away and calls her mothers cell phone)

Tina

Is that the best you could do? You sent two ******* hippies this time?

Courtney Thomas

What on gods green earth are you talking about? And how did you get this cell number?

Tina

I’m talking about the woman stretched out on my living room floor and the guy who’s probably still looking for his sativa in the car. But enough of the small talk I have to go.

(Tina hangs up and throws her cell phone in a stream)

Courtney Thomas

I think she’s almost ready. She may hate me for it now but she’ll appreciate it later.

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